Situationship Calculator

Are We Dating or Just Hanging Out?" The Situationship Calculator That Brutally Tells You the Truth

There is a pandemic sweeping the modern dating world. It isn’t ghosting. It isn’t breadcrumbing. It is The Situationship.

It’s that gray area where you go on dates, you sleep over, you know their coffee order, but you introduce them to your friends as "my... um... friend from work."

It is agonizing. It is confusing. And worst of all, it keeps you from finding someone who actually wants to be with you.

But how do you know if you're in a hopeless Situationship or just a "Slow Burn" romance?

We built the Situationship Calculator (above) to be the best friend you need right now. It doesn't sugarcoat it. It analyzes the texts, the vibes, and the red flags to give you a definitive diagnosis: Are you a partner, or are you a placeholder?

What is a "Situationship"?

A situationship is a romantic arrangement that lacks clear commitment. It has the intimacy of a relationship but the uncertainty of a casual fling.

The hallmarks include:

1. No Labels: "We don't like titles."
2. Inconsistent Communication: Texting constantly for 3 days, then silence for 4.
3. Last-Minute Plans: "Wyd?" at 10 PM instead of "Dinner?" at 10 AM.
4. Compartmentalization: You haven't met their friends, family, or seen the inside of their apartment in daylight.

How to Use the Calculator

This tool acts as your relationship audit.

Step 1: The Communication Check (Tab 1) Communication is the lifeline of a relationship.

• Response Time: Does he reply instantly? Or does he take 3-5 business days?
• The Math: Taking 24 hours to reply isn't "playing hard to get." In 2024, it means you are low on the priority list. The calculator deducts major points for this.

Step 2: The Vibe Check (Tab 2) What are you actually doing together?

• The Date Test: Are you going to dinner in public? Or are you just "hanging out" and watching Netflix?
• The Secret Test: Have you met their friends? If you've been "seeing each other" for 6 months and haven't met a single friend, you are a secret.

Step 3: The Future (Tab 3) This is the dealbreaker tab.

• Do you plan things more than a week in advance?
• Have you discussed exclusivity?
• If the answer is "We take it day by day," prepare for a low score.

The Red Flag Counter

One of the most important features of this calculator is the Red Flag Counter at the bottom.

You might have a decent score (60%), but if you have 3 Red Flags, the calculator will flag it.

• Example Red Flag: "I'm not ready for a label right now."
• Translation: "I'm not ready for a label with you."

Why You Need This Reality Check

We stay in situationships because of Hope. We hope they will change. We hope that if we are just "chill" enough, they will eventually commit.

This calculator removes hope and replaces it with Data.

If you score a 25% (You Are Single), it hurts. But it’s the pain of a band-aid ripping off. It frees you to block their number and find someone who scores a 95%.

The Verdict

Ambiguity is not romantic. Clarity is romantic.

Don't spend another Friday night wondering what you are to them. Use the Situationship Calculator above to find out exactly where you stand. If the result is "Certified Situationship," it might be time to send that "We need to talk" text.

(Disclaimer: This calculator is for entertainment and validation purposes. Only you know the true nuances of your relationship... but the calculator is usually right.)